A.I. 2010: Top 16 elimination round; Top 12 revealed

I'm not sure whose bright idea it was to do a group (a group!) rendition of a Michael Buble song, or who planned the awfully cheeky and cheesy choreography, or what our favorite "I honestly can't be bothered to pretend to care" Crystal Bowersox was thinking as she forced smile after smile, but hey, this is an American Idol elimination night!

And this is your obligatory spoiler warning! If you still haven't watched the episode or come across the rants of apparently tons of angry people on Facebook or Twitter, then bookmark this page and come back!

We start with the back row of females; Ryan first brings down Didi Benami. He asks her how it feels to be on the stage and then brings up the issue of consistency. Which, Randy says, is all about "being hot every night" even, apparently, when they aren't taping. Well, she'll have plenty of opportunity to keep at being hot as she quickly gets a seat.

Siobhan Magnus is next and we are reminded that Simon called her a "dark horse." Ellen tells us that she wants to see more of what Siobhan is doing and to keep being unique. She's pretty quickly sent to the stools reserved for the 12 finalists as well.

Ryan then calls down both Paige Miles and Katelyn Epperly, and one of them is going home. Seacrest identifies song choice as Miles' problem, while Epperly is reminded that just last week Simon said that she was back and now she could be gone. Cowell rips them both but says that the one with the most potential is Paige, despite the (more) horrible performance last night. As if to confirm the genius of Sir Cowell, Ryan declares Miles safe.

FIRST ELIMINATION: Katelyn Epperly

So, did America get this right? Probably not, in my estimation. Faced between the two, I think you have to axe the person who's been consistently horrible, and that's Miles, who is a Vote for the Worst selection. Epperly on the other hand, never showed much youth in her song picks, and in my opinion, was a snooze when she covered "The Scientist." However, with more prohibitive themes being placed on the singers starting next week, I think Epperly would have improved her song choice and that might be the difference. Alas, we'll never know. As the horrible ritual of having to sing the song that got you sent home ends, Ryan tries his best to send us to a commercial over the very audible sobs of Epperly who rushes to group hug the girls.

After the break, Tim Urban, Todrick Hall, Lee DeWyze and Casey James get the call to the stage. We are reminded that Tim is merely an alternate and yet is still here somehow. Todrick is reminded that he's merely a dancer, but Randy said that he had the best vocal last night. Lee doesn't stand out at all but oh gosh, please, will a judge call him out on the fact that he's never in tune? Casey is reminded that he took off his shirt. Great set of memories there. Apparently though, taking off a shirt counts for a whole lot, and Casey gets a nice cushy stool.

As we begin to imagine how happy Kara is right now, Tim gets sent to a stool as well, probably because of this set of pictures.

Stuck on stage, Randy is asked if both of them deserve to be in the Top 12 and he waffles a bit, saying that at least Lee is consistent (consistently boring, in my mind). The dramatic music swells for a bit, before we find out that Lee is going to come back next week. Todrick says he's happy to have been around and proved that he wasn't just a dancer; he's remarkably cool about the whole thing, and here I thought he'd flip out.

SECOND ELIMINATION: Todrick Hall

Todrick gets to reprise "Somebody to Love" and I regret not nicknaming him Sisqo earlier. Ironically, he sounds even better tonight, and he absolutely kills with the last part of the song. Shame he's going home already because it looks like he was just getting his groove. Between Lee and Todrick, I would have definitely wanted to keep Todrick, who is at least interesting, and might be on the rise. Lee feels like he's done all that he can do, and an early exit might yet be in the books. The real pain though is having to suffer through yet another week of Tim Urban. Between the two made-for-YouTube singers, well, we ought to have cut the guy who is just singing everything he's got on YouTube, who is also the other Vote for the Worst choice.

After dueling pianos courtesy of Matt Giraud and Scott MacIntyre, Crystal "The Truth" Bowersox, the presumptive winner, gets an extremely predictable stool seat. Michael Lynche, another obvious shoo-in, confesses to being terrified of the floor director, Debbie, as he gets called to stand on the stage. Kara tries to pretend that her tears were genuine by explaining herself away but really, who cares, same with this standing tease thing because Lynche is obviously getting a stool, and does.

Lacey Brown is next and if you didn't know, this is her second trip, having got cut at the top 24 last time out (we all knew, we just forgot). Brown tells us "I'm just myself" when asked to describe herself as an artist, which will never work with the record executives, but she gets called down and quickly sent to a stool too, where she gets a huge hug from Paige Miles.

Little boy Aaron Kelly is next, and he tries to take a peek at the card but fails. Kelly tries to explain away his lack of confidence by saying that he's watched this show since he was a little kid and talks about how he's intimidated by them although he is "getting to know them a little more." As if scripted, Seacrest pulls the obvious "well you'll get to know them more because you're through to the next round" line on us and Kelly gets to sit down.

The last two boys get up, Alex Lambert and Andrew Garcia. Lambert the banana seems like the obvious pick to stay here. Garcia is constantly living in the shadow of his "Straight Up" cover, trying in vain to catch lighting in a bottle again each week with yet, another, stupid, acoustic, cover, of, a, female, singer. To perhaps angry protests from teenage girls everywhere, Garcia somehow makes it through while Lambert struggles to express how sad he is at being cut with a broken mic. Ellen tells him to "don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling," which would be good advice if Glee hadn't covered that ground already. The obvious question is, how the heck is Garcia going to survive next week when there isn't a female voice in the Rolling Stones to ape?

THIRD ELIMINATION: Alex Lambert

Again, there are audible sobs as Ryan tells us to stay tuned, and boy, is this a teary bunch.

Up last are two girls, Lilly Scott and (yes, they did this to personally mess with me) Katie Stevens. Scott is another girl who seems to think that music ended sometime around 1978, while Stevens at least has the youth factor going for her. As we come back from the commercial, they're STILL hugging Lambert and Seacrest has to gently kick everyone save for Lilly and Katie off the stage.

We are reminded that Kara picked Katie in Hollywood as a possible winner, while a bit more substantial and newer praise is heaped on Lilly. The annoying judge says that it's interesting because we have a choice between someone who knows what she wants to sing and someone who doesn't know but has a better, more marketable voice. In the end, money apparently made more sense, and Katie gets the save as we cut to a reaction shot of Katelyn looking aghast.

FOURTH ELIMINATION: Lilly Scott

Excuse me while I do joyful backflips.

Back now, and Lilly does a little backhanded slap at the audience and at Katie, saying, "I thought I did really well. I thought I was appealing to a lot of people," before rationalizing her elimination as, "I don't know what America wants to hear. I don't."

I don't think anyone wants to hear a cruise ship singer for another week, Lilly dear.

So, your top 12:

Tier 1, the one most likely to go all the way: Crystal Bowersox (will she try to look like she cares as the stakes get higher?)

Tier 2, the people who would need to screw up horribly to go early: Casey James (Daughtry with hair), Michael Lynche (the second coming of Ruben Studdard), Siobhan Magnus (big on character and variety)

Tier 3, the solid middle, could go out early or late: Didi Benami (needs to decide if she's a folk or a country singer), Lacey Brown (needs a personality), Lee DeWyze (needs to start getting in tune), Aaron Kelly (needs to grow up), Tim Urban (needs to keep improving, but the teeny-boppers will keep him in)

Tier 4, on thin ice: Paige Miles (streak of subpar performances needs to end), Andrew Garcia (needs to do something other than a female acoustic cover), Katie Stevens (needs to either go all-in and declare herself as a singer of older songs or pander to the judges and go young)

Next week: The Rolling Stones
Who will most likely do well: Bowersox, James, Magnus,
Who will most likely struggle: Kelly, Brown, Benami, Miles, Stevens

Photo screencap taken from savepetinc.

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites