A.I. 2010 - Top 8 girls compete

This is where it was supposed to get interesting. Instead, it got boring.

If "boring" was too spoiler-ish for you, then look no further! Bookmark this page and come back later as even more SPOILERS ABOUND.

There are eight female contestants left after last week's eliminations of Michelle Delamor and Haeley Vaughn, but there are still just six female finalist spots. As Simon and Ryan helpfully drive home, this is a bad time to suddenly start sucking.

That said, because of just eight contestants, tonight's episode was scaled back to just a single hour, and you can tell it's been scaled back. There's nary a video recording in sight, and the judges rush through their repetitive comments as if they needed to hit a certain word quota. And yet, the pace is at times refreshing, because every contestant tonight sang something slow or took an already slow song and slowed it down even more. If you thought Katelyn Epperly's rendition of "The Scientist" last week was the cure for insomnia, you're in for a nice, leisurely nap tonight.

Before we go on to the actual performances, American Idol really should have just had some sort of graphic on the screen flash these three "key" factors that judges spent all evening harping about. In no order, they are:

a. "Knowing Who You Are"
b. "Having a Moment."
c. "Is That Something the Audience Will Remember."

To whit, if you "know who you are," then you will "have a moment," which will be "something that the audience will remember." Who hit all three and who hit none? Find out below:

1. Katie Stevens - "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson

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Maybe it was on purpose or maybe it wasn't, we're not quite sure, but Stevens took this song down a few octaves or two, and the result is her sounding even older, which didn't sound so bad to my ears. I liked it, but then, as previously mentioned, I'm completely in the tank for this girl, so, who am I to talk?

Unfortunately for my pick, the judges pretty much panned it. Randy said "the song was too big for you," since Kelly Clarkson is on that list of "artists whom you shall never sing." He also managed to continue staking out the use of that old Simon Cowell metaphor by comparing the performance to "karaoke." The other three judges though, maintained that 17-year old Stevens still Did Not Know Who She Was. Simon though, seems to want to keep her on for at least one more week, by tempering everything he said with things like "to be fair, you've taken the advice," and "10 out of 10 for trying." I still maintain though that there's nothing wrong with a 17-year old trying to sing "grown-up songs" as long as she sings it well, but hey, here's hoping she won't be packing her bags in a few days.

2. Siobhan Magnus - "The House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals

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Magnus goes instrument-less and back-up less for the first part before the accompaniment bleeds in after 20 seconds or so. It's a powerful, powerful rendition (only Magnus got to drop some pre-performance info by saying that this was a surprise for her dad), but it borders on wailing at some parts and as a whole, it's just not as impressive as last week.

Randy points out that she hasn't been listening to the advice the judges have been giving her, but to "keep doing that coz it's hot!" Ellen and Kara are all over it, but Simon is restrained in his reaction, agreeing with me that last week was "so much better." And because of that, it did NOT HAVE A MOMENT. Is she in danger of leaving though? Heck no.

3. Lacey Brown - "The Story" by Brandy Carlile

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Brown tries to change things up by sitting on the edge of the stage, which is sort of apt, given her position in this contest, "on the edge." It's a bit dull, and it sounds more like the warbling you'd get from a bird shot down in mid-flight.

So what then does it mean when Randy says that the song was "a bit boring, just a little sleepy," but finishes it up with "It was your best performance for me in a long time?" And what does it mean when Ellen and Kara jump in and agree vehemently? Again, for me, it was in fact an improvement over last week, but then last week wasn't that good anyway, so going from really crappy to just crappy isn't that big an improvement. Simon agrees with me though, conceding that although she did sing it "really, really well," Brown is still "in danger of being forgotten."

4. Katelyn Epperly - "I Felt the Earth Move" by Carole King

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The contestant I've taken to dub "Retro Girl" because she can't seem to be bothered to sing something within the last 5 years (youngest song: "The Scientist") takes to the stage with the big hair and the electric piano ("that's not a guitar right?" asks Ellen). Going by our "three things to have," I'd definitely have to say that this was a "momentless" performance.

If there was someone tonight though who was universally panned, by the judges and myself, it had to be Epperly. We get another round of "boring" comments, tossed in with Kara's feeling that she wasn't competing. "I was trying to be less corny," Epperly says in her defense, since last week she distinctively seemed to be mugging to the camera all the time. Simon nails it again though, saying "You chose quite a simple song, didn't do anything with it." That's exactly what happened, and I get the feeling she'll be out on Thursday.

5. Didi Benami - "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac

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On the acoustic guitar, my notes say "boring, boring, boring." It is yet another soft, slow, slightly emo performance that seems to be the overriding theme of the girls' performances.

Randy says that he doesn't think there was a wow moment in the performance and I agree wholeheartedly. On the completely opposite side of things though, Kara says that it was one of her favorite moments of the show this season, causing an audible "Wha?" to slip from my lips. Then we have Simon saying that the entire thing was a "wow moment," and it seems like Bizarro Simon was able to get into the seat during the break.

6. Paige Miles - "Smile" by Charlie Chaplin

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Two words: lounge act. I'm imagining a smoke-filled hotel bar, lots of men in suits and coats and hats, women with cigarette holders, black and white, and a feather boa on Ms. Miles. This was horrible, even worse than Epperly, and the judges must have spent the most comment time on this one, as they tried to come up with more and more ways to say that she was bad.

Randy complained about how it suddenly turned into a bossanova tune somewhere in the middle. Ellen pointed out the irony of such a sad and heavy rendition of a song called "Smile." Kara, the least eloquent, basically just said that tonight was "not the night to do that." And finally, real-Simon managed to regain control and made the same connection I did in the previous paragraph.

This might be the first American Idol top 12 without an African-American female.

7. Crystal Bowersox - "Give Me One Reason" by Tracy Chapman

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Between her and Casey James, this might turn out to be the most we've ever seen of an electric guitar on American Idol. Once upon a time, Simon would have said she resembled someone on YouTube, and he would be right, but it's a very, very, very good YouTube artist that she's becoming, and she manages to shine with such a weak field of competition. Not only did she have all three of the key factors above, it's crystal (ouch) clear that Simon wants her to win, or at the very least, go far in the contest. "It's yours to lose," he says. And whether that's from the real or the Bizarro Simon, whoever he is in fact correct.

8. Lilly Scott - "I Fall to Pieces" by Patsy Cline

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Every week there's one performance the judges go back to on elimination night and talk about how it looks much worse on TV, or where they confirm how horrible the performance sounded on the boob tube. This might be this week's performance, as Lilly Scott and her mandolin churned out something that belongs on a cruise ship.

Randy, Ellen and Kara all seemed to like it, but I'm fairly confident that they'll take it back on Friday (Philippine time). "It didn't have the wow factor," Simon points out and I have to agree. Already on fast-forward mode, that was one of the least remarkable last performances on Idol history.

In all, I was very unpleased with the girls and their choice of songs. Bowersox giving Tracy Chapman some edge aside, everyone seemed to be content mewling out the lyrics without really investing any emotion or changing up the arrangement. It's almost as if they had regressed to their performance level two weeks ago.

Personally, I feel like there are quite a number of people vulnerable, with the only singer who's a lock being Bowersox. Most likely Siobhan Magnus is safe too, but it still wouldn't surprise me if her name was called.

Tomorrow, it'll be the guys' turn, and we'll see if this happens to be secret-theme-Downer week and if the must-goes are more obvious than their counterparts. Til' then, always remember to know who you are, have a moment, and be memorable!

My Top 3:
Crystal Bowersox, Siobhan Magnus, Katie Stevens

My Bottom 3:
Lacey Brown, Paige Miles, Lilly Scott

All videos uploaded to Youtube by VdovinaHD.

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