The Philippine Online Chronicles

Hello again everyone and welcome to tonight's American Idol recap and critique. Last night we saw the guys play first and if there had to be a theme, it would be "improvement." Just about everyone who performed yesterday had grown by leaps and bounds over last week's horrifying train wreck. Too bad that still meant that some people were still obvious cuts. When you improve a lot from "extremely horrible," that still leaves you somewhere around "horrible," and hopefully "horrible" still gets you cut.

Obviously from this point forward, we will be talking SPOILERS so if you haven't seen the episode yet and don't want to know who sings what, then turn away!

The episode begins with an acknowledgement of Madame Crystal Bowersox's sickness and her return, but segues into a question everyone wants answered, "Does Kara DioGuardi really think kissing up to Simon is going to work or make her less annoying?" (she doesn't answer it straightforwardly, of course).

Crystal Bowersox - "Long As I Can See the Light" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
For the record, we never really find out why she was in the hospital. Bowersox reveals in her prerecorded video that she plans to give this song a gospel treatment. She does go through with this plan, and colored me stunned as she doesn't sound like someone who caused American Idol to flip the order of the performances. It's spiritual and powerful and soulful, and not subway-performance level, which was the criticism thrown her way last time out.

"Truth is reality," says Randy Jackson, as it is his turn to give Zen koans (Simon provided last night's). Kara tells her not to do contemporary things, which seems paradoxical when you really think about it (doesn't anything you release at this point become contemporary or a contemporary spin on an old song?) and she gives the wrong song title of Bowersox's performance last week. Simon then drops "misunderestimate" which causes all English teachers to face-palm spontaneously at the same time, but makes up for it by giving Bowersox the venerable Kelly Clarkson-comparison. On that alone, she will be sticking around for a while.

Haeley Vaughn - "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus
Hey guys! Remember when everyone thought she was really, really good? When the buzzword was "African-American country?" Last week she went retro with the Beatles and it earned her now favor from the judges or myself. This week she goes contemporary and within her age group and it was still horrible. I honestly have no idea if it's the song's fault (Miley Cyrus ladies and gentlemen! Why not Taylor Swift at least?) or if it's her, but something's horribly wrong here. Time to go, dear.

Love how Simon went and made the obvious "The Climb" - "but you're falling" pun. Every judge got a strong boo-ing as Vaughn was universally panned. Here's a question, if she goes out tomorrow, can she legitimately try again next season? Or is there some sort of no-repeat clause once you make it past Hollywood week?

Lacey Brown - "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer
Last week, DioGuardi suggested that Brown sing this song so there's a slight sense of sarcasm from Randy when he compliments Brown on her song choice ("No it wasn't," he quickly adds). Aside: while we're at it, why DON'T the judges just assign songs if they're so concerned about song choice? Isn't that what producers or agents do for professional singers anyway? Anyway, Brown turns in one of the most depressing sounding versions of "Kiss Me," slow and painful at the start, cotton candy cloying when it hit the bridge and forth.

You know Simon's now in the tank for Crystal Bowersox when he trots her out as a sample to live up to for the rest of the contestants. He's right though that compared to Bowersox, Brown's performance was rather pedestrian. Poor Cowell just couldn't find the words to phrase it correctly since Randy stole his "karaoke" metaphor (which ought to be trademarked before he leaves).

Katie Stevens - "Put Your Records On" by Corinne Bailey Rae
I genuinely liked Stevens last week. I thought that she was technically more competent than a great deal of her competitors, and the power of her voice at her age was remarkable. My only nit with her choice of this song is that she didn't quite have that sudden shift in register down pat. That's it. Okay, confession: she's my pick to go all the way.   

That admission out, here's my problem, panel, and here's where I get frustrated. Randy tells her that she can do bigger songs, Ellen tells her to do songs that she "won't hear at my [her] dentist," Kara gets her age wrong, Simon tells her to go "research" and to tell them what kind of recording artist she wants to be and Ryan helpfully suggests Justin Bieber. What if she wants to be sing standards and not be a mass-marketed little pop star? Is that such a bad thing?

Didi Benami - "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers
It was mentioned on her preshow video that she had to look up what "self-indulgent" meant after one of the judges used the term to describe her performance ("I was thinking of two people," she said, in her defense). She was self-indulgent again tonight though, as she yelled and shrieked all throughout a song that's meant to be self-contained and intimate.

Randy getting crazy-frustrated was hilarious to see, as he blubbered around in a near-panic. Then it's Kara's turn to steal the "karaoke" line of Simon, who is so surprised, that all he can do is make a cat joke and throw his hands up in frustration. Is it just me or does Simon get less and less eloquent with each episode?  

Michelle Delamor - "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed
I thought that Delamor was under the radar with her performance last week. Sure it was Alicia Keys, a "do-not-do" for Idol, but there was soul and power, something a few other contestants lack. She does something pretty out of left field tonight, covering a Creed song, and it's the first time I've ever heard this song covered by a girl. She lays on the sultry a bit too thick when I would have wanted more belting and all in all it's a bit painful (something that seemed evident on her face at that last part).

Randy nails it right on the head when he says that she didn't do enough with it. Ellen tries to argue that there were times when she forgot that it was a rock song, too bad I couldn't. I was waiting for the electric guitar to cut in, but it never came. Kara mumbles something about "believing," and the claws have sunk in as Simon, horror of horrors, agrees with her. Then he admits that they give contradictory advice! Is the world ending?

Lilly Scott - "A Change is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke
Honest to goodness, I was checking Facebook when she started singing and then when I looked up, the song was over and it didn't register at all. It was a total non-event.

The next thing I knew, the judges were gushing something fierce. Kara brought out all the big guns, "moment," "game changer," "people are going to look at American Idol blah blah blah." Finally, Simon brought her down to Earth with yet another Crystal Bowersox comparison. Simon and I, two men playing favorites.

Katelyn Epperly - "The Scientist" by Coldplay
For starters, the piano doesn't sound right. That may be my own (ancient) TV but there's something off with the notes, like a fuzziness around the edges. Now, I'm a Coldplay fan, but even I have to concede that "The Scientist," is one of the most ponderously pretentious pieces of music ever written. Epperly makes it even slower, which I had no idea was possible until now, and then caterwauls like her life was in danger. It could very well be.

Ellen's turn to brainfart, as she mistakes a piano for a guitar. Go figure, and I love her babysitter joke. It's mixed reviews though for her, and we get another round of "figure out who you are." Simon tells her that it was a "million more times" better than last week but as I said in the intro, a million times crap...is still crap.  

Paige Miles - "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson
I honestly did not remember who she was or what she sang last week until we got to the recap. Simon must have had the same feeling as he was concentrating more on cleaning some guck off his shoe as he seemed to be more fascinated with something under the table than listening to her. Snark aside, Miles took a DioGuardi-penned song for Kelly Clarkson, albeit not a single or anything, and, get this, made it her own. Best voice in the contest? Maybe not THE best, but one of the best.

We got more frustration and hand-wringing from Simon and Randy, while Kara complained about how Miles didn't get what she wrote. Unlike the former pair though, I don't think she's in any danger (famous last words) because she's at least a memorable sort of happy-bouncy singer. Is she a bit plain though? Maybe, but there are worse offenders who sang before her.

Siobhan Magnus - "Think" by Aretha Franklin
"The funny little thing" is right, as her rendition of this song is all over the place vocally, high, low, and everything else in the scale. There probably wasn't a note she didn't leave untouched, especially with the big notes she got on a ladder and hit. Normally Aretha is a "do not touch" but Magnus ("Magnus," how "great" is that?) did just went at it, and knocked it out of the ballpark, hit the touchdown, scored the buzzer beater, and all those metaphors.

There is much love from the panel, and she even manages to coax a smile from Simon, despite him admitting that he has no idea what to make of her. I have no idea what to make of her either. As a spectacle, she's amazing, but can you imagine her as a recording artist? How would that work? But then, that's what they said about Adam Lambert, right?

Overall, the girls, even with the extra day, were not as improved, let alone as good as the guys last night. The gap between the good and the bad is much wider, and at the same time, the bad singers aren't even entertaining so there's no redemption factor there. We'll see tomorrow if Simon's Bowersox love works its magic or if it turns out to be an ironic kiss of death.

My Top 3
1. Crystal Bowersox
2. Katie Stevens
3. Paige Miles

My Bottom 3
1. Haeley Vaughn
2. Lacey Brown
3. Didi Benami