The Philippine Online Chronicles

The past month, Philippine politics and showbiz provided kibitzers many fodder for queer-themed “speculative nonfiction” expressions – meaning inhabitants of the blogosphere, Twitterverse and other media galaxies were quick to comment and speculate about the allegedly hidden or perceived sexuality of specific personalities in the media today.

Item number one involved a spokesperson of a government body, caught on-cam while he candidly reacted to a microphone falling on the floor from the podium he was using. His face registered a quick oops! expression and covered his mouth with one hand in what people discriminatingly call a “that’s-so-gay way,” meaning it was an effeminate gesture often associated with the gestures of effeminate gay males. Because of this nonverbal reaction, people from all over were quick to point out and confirm that indeed, Mr. Spokesperson is a “confeeermed!” member of the LGBTQ community, judging from that action alone.

Item number two involved the crying lady moment (read: airtime) of the scion of a Philippine showbiz female icon, pouring her (broken) heart out on national television as she carefully shared details of why her latest relationship with a popular male media icon failed, alluding to speculations about this male icon’s sexuality – a speculation that has hounded him for years. Gathering opinions about this public outpour plus listening to the brokenhearted’s tales, people were quick to demonize the supposedly closeted male icon and his alleged ploy to cover up his “true self” by being in this relationship.

These kinds of things aren’t really new in local showbiz and politics. Gossiping, after all, could be considered as an unofficial national pastime here in my beautiful country filled with beautiful and talented people who often kill time by talking about other people. Many are quick to offer their (often) unsolicited opinions about things that happen in the news, which is actually a good thing since we also need to hear the voice of the people more often. It’s especially juicy when people talk about specific popular personalities. And it’s even juicier if there’s some kind of mystery that has to be unraveled when it comes to a personality’s real persona. Whatever that persona may be, the juicy tidbit is often made spicier if it involves a discussion of the personality’s speculated or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity (SOGI).

But in this case, I have to echo a media colleague’s beleaguered questioning: so what?

Yes, as in, so what if Mr. Spokesperson is gay, or if Mr. Male Icon is gay? We in Philippine society could talk about more pressing issues of the day, you know. We could be vigilant about having wrongs righted and injustices corrected, say in cases where they kill journalists in one go, or keeping an eye on politicians who need to answer to the citizens for their past actions. Yes, we were doing that, too – before all this speculative nonfiction fodder came into the picture. What a stellar disturbance in the force.

We had the usual jokesters, as jokesters are ever-present in Philippine society. But there were jokes that weren’t funny anymore. Some jokes already hinted at SOGI-based prejudice while some were obviously laced with homophobia.

Dear Kgirl, been there, done that. Love, Cgirl.

Gman: Pman, did you just use Kgirl to get close…to me?

These are just some of the jokes that were heavily circulated, as collated in a newspaper article when this controversial break-up news broke out. The first joke is meant to refer to an actor’s transition from being a heterosexual matinee idol to a transwoman, after (s)he ended her heterosexual marriage to an actress. The second involves a joke meant to be a quip from the heartbroken actress’ father, who is a matinee idol in his own right, whose looks attract both the heterosexual female and the gay crowds.

Some jokes are funny on the surface but if we take a look at them, they bear scathing implications since the bottomline of the heartbroken one’s statements – as supported and inflamed by these joking kibitzers – is that there was deception on the side of the allegedly gay actor, that said gay actor merely used the actress as his beard, someone to cover up his sexuality, a décor in front of his closet. This is where all the jokes focused, actually – on the “fact” that this supposedly gay actor should have never hurt the actress in the first place, because he wasn’t being “true to himself” or something to that effect. And onlookers were also quick to jump on the deception bandwagon, saying that they, too, as an audience, are repulsed, vilified, disappointed, fooled, and were merely taken for a ride by a supposed macho male icon who, they say, turns out to be playing for the other team. So thus, the alleged closeted actor is looked down upon, a bit hated, for doing what he did, supposedly.

Yes, I know we shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously sometimes, but it’s a different thing if our idea of a joke would dangerously spill over to the side of hurting people. Sure, they’re stars, they’re in politics, they’re celebrities, their lives are very public and we are welcome to take a peek and have our say. But if that meant chiding someone just because we suspect that they are closeted gays or bisexuals, then maybe we have to step back and think of the consequences of our actions. Because, in the end, if we poke fun at them for being closeted – regardless whether they truly are gay or not – then we are all guilty of contributing to the breakdown of our quest for real emancipation and empowerment.

People chide those who choose to remain in the closet, damning them because they won’t step out even if it’s “already obvious” (based on their actions) or even if it’s already an “open secret,” so they say. The bottomline here is, so what? So what if these closeted people don’t want to come out of the closet? They are not obliged to do whatever they feel is not necessary. If they want to hide, then that’s fine. They have their own individual and very private reasons for keeping certain secrets. Respect should be afforded them.

For what is the point of all our activism and advocacy work? Isn’t it supposed to end discrimination of all forms against LGBTQs? Queer allies, let’s not prematurely break down other people’s closets because that’s none of our business; we all come to terms with our own sexualities in our own sweet time. Yes, I know it’s also empowering if someone of an important stature comes out as one of us; but let them take their time.

Straight allies, please don’t even associate being closeted with being deviously deceptive, because that’s not a good equation.

And to all, shouldn’t we just stop chiding people because we perceive them to be gay? Teasing them, making jokes about it, those actions all constitute bullying. And we all know that bullying is never good for anyone. So please, let’s stop.

Libay Linsangan Cantor is a Manila-based writer, film school professor and queer advocate. You can email her at leaflens@gmail.com. She blogs at leaflenspopmedia.wordpress.com.