The Philippine Online Chronicles

When it comes to personal finance, a lot of us are guilty of having a bad money management habit: spending more than what we can earn, maxing out credit card limits, joining the bandwagon and a whole lot of other unwarranted habits that could potentially wreck our road to financial independence. Those are bad but the worst money habit of all—as I have witnessed for the past five years—is not paying back what you owe.

Once, a student of mine came up to me and poured her heart out on the financial difficulties she was going through. This student of mine, a 31-year old single mother of four, is known in school for her kind and caring nature, always ready to lend a hand to anyone who has problems. In short, she is also a mother to many of her classmates.

Her struggles all started several months ago when a teacher went up to her and borrowed some money. Having promised that she would immediately pay my student when payday comes, she consented. What was the harm? It will only be two weeks at most, she thought. Before she became a full-time student, she did earn well and was able to stash away some savings.

But when payday arrived, her teacher reasoned that because of this and that, she can’t pay her for the moment. She agreed to extend the loan. But she can’t help but wonder if the excuses her teacher was giving her were true or just excuses.

Worse, her teacher “referred” her to some of the schools staffs when they were also looking to borrow some cash. Once again, because of their sob and sad stories, she obliged. “They did promise they’d return the money on payday.” She answered when I asked her why she did lend them. Payday came and all she got was a litany of excuses and alibis. At times, they would try to avoid her. Several paydays came and went by, again, again the same scenario. As of this writing, she is still struggling with her own financial problems and she has yet to be paid by all three of them.

The thing that infuriates me is the insensitivity of some people when they borrowed money. For those who have experienced lending out any amount, you’d know what I am talking about. Often, those who owe us even have the audacity to get mad when we remind them or collect what they owe us.

“Babayaran naman kita eh! Antay ka lang. Masyado ka naman atat (I’ll pay you. You just wait. You’re too impatient).”

“Madami ka namanag pera, sa susunod na kita babayran (You have lots of money. I’ll just pay you next time).”

“Kahit tingnan mo pa ung wallet ko, wala talaga akong maibabayad sa iyo (Even if you look at my wallet now, I really don’t have anything to pay you).”

Do these sound familiar? I bet they do. Some people do take advantage of our generosity. I for instance, would understand if someone is really having financial difficulties and couldn’t pay me back at the moment. I’d gladly extend my terms. But for some, there is not much difficulty at all that prevents them from paying us back.

Let’s go back to the teacher. She managed to have cable TV installed, went on some SPA treatments, spring a few cash for her daughter’s birthday. She did all of these while she owes someone money and she’d reason, “I really do not have any money right now.” And yes, she does get mad when my student brings the topic up.

The worst part is when your debtors start avoiding you like plague. When they do need money, they’d immediately pick up your call, reply to your text in an instant, meet you at your most convenient time and place and be the nicest “friend” they could possibly be. They’d even tell you how kind you are and what a great help the money is.

But when the supposed date of payment comes, you’d discover they either turned off their phone or refuse to answer your call. They do not reply to your texts (plural) as well. All of a sudden, you become a stranger to them. Sometimes, you even become the antagonist, the villain who wants nothing more than their money. Your money became their money. And when you do have the opportunity to meet them face to face and politely ask them about it again, they’d say they haven’t forgotten about it and would pay you back soon. Soon most certainly means never.

Sometimes, they conveniently forget they owe you money. When you remind them about it, they’d ask, “Meron ba (I do)?” You suddenly sound like an extortionist or a con artist. How true is this joke, “Don’t lend people money…it gives them amnesia.”

Surprisingly, class and wealth has nothing to do with it. Once someone borrowed money from me to finance a business. Given her economic condition, I’d say she was pretty well-off. That was why it was a surprise the check she issued for her second installment bounced. Collecting that portion had been a nightmare. In the end, it was my guarantor who had to shoulder some of the losses.

At times, the issue is not about money but rather the promise broken. How many friends had a falling out because of unpaid debts? The money borrowed was hard-earned and they were loaned out to help someone else. If you do owe someone something, please do not abuse his generosity and compassion. Pay him back on the agreed date.

Going back to my student, she had to borrow from me and I gladly lent her the money because she knows how to repay her debts. I can’t say the same for her teacher and the staffs. Don’t be like them.