Bullying in the digital age

Growing up overweight, I was often the butt of many jokes in the classroom. As if being overweight was not enough, I was more of an introvert, had bad hair, and, when puberty set in, let’s just say I did not smell like a bed of roses.

Like many tweens and teenagers who were not going through what I was, my classmates would find pleasure in making fun of me, whether it was my size, my Don King-like hair, or my being different.

In a quest to be liked, I would go out of my way to please my classmates. This included bringing them goodies or snacks, and giving them whatever it was they asked from me, including helping them with homework and doing their classroom chores.

When I would cry to my mom about the hurt the teasing and bullying was causing me, she would tell me to ignore them and to just let them be. She would say that it was just a part of growing up and that other kids just enjoyed teasing me because they would get a reaction from me, so I should not show them I was getting affected. Often, she would end her lecture about becoming strong in the face of bullying with the cliché “sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.” They’re just words, she would say, and what matters is that you know the truth. It’s just a matter of perspective.

While to some degree that can be true, it cannot be denied that words DO hurt. For example, once I received a Google Alert for my name and when I clicked it, I came across a student’s Multiply forum that posed a question about what they thought about my arm (or to be more succinct: its size) when I came to class newly tanned from a weekend in the beach. Responses ranged from “mukhang lechon (it looks like a roasted pig)” to “akala ko ba hita pang legs lang? (I thought thighs were only meant for legs, not arms).” I was a new college instructor when I read these words and it cut me to the core. I tried to console myself by saying at least it’s not my teaching they’re criticizing but deep inside, it hurt too.

If, for me as an adult, these words on the Internet hurt a lot, what more for a young teen? Or a child for that matter?

Bullying today

“Traditional” or face-to-face bullying still exists in today’s society, but the advent of modern technology has introduced new and more potent ways of bullying. This is known as online bullying or cyberbullying.

According to the United States National Crime Prevention Council, cyberbullying “happens when teens use the Internet, cell phones" to bully someone. Cyberbullying is further defined by the Cyberbullying Research Center as “…when someone repeatedly harasses, mistreats, or makes fun of another person online or while using cell phones or other electronic devices." For Mike Hardcastle, online bullying also includes “any harassment that occurs via the Internet. Vicious forum posts, name calling in chat rooms, posting fake profiles on web sites, and mean or cruel email messages are all ways of cyberbullying.”

Cyberbullying can also occur in a wide array of fora over the worldwide web. This can include e-mails, chat rooms, instant messaging, social networking sites such as Facebook, My Space and Friendster, and microblogging sites such as Plurk and Twitter, as well as personal web pages or blogs. These posts may not be limited to words or name-calling. Another prevalent means of online bullying includes posting compromising photos of another for others to make fun of.

Cyberbullying is also not restricted to pre-teens and adolescents. However, for adults, while the basic functions are the same, it is known as cyberharassment or cyberstalking.

Cyberbullying kills

Unlike face-to-face bullying, online bullying appears to be more far-reaching and extensive, mainly because of the medium it employs. As elements of the World Wide Web, these blogs, photos and sites are more easily accessible. Further, it has the capacity to go viral quickly and this is difficult to contain.

In October 2006, Megan Meier , a thirteen-year old girl, was the victim of an internet hoax via the popular website MySpace. There she was made to believe that a boy named Josh Evans was interested in establishing a friendship with her. Through online communication, she discovered that they had a lot in common. What she did not know was that the account was a fake, created by Lori Drew, the mother of a friend with whom she had a falling-out, solely for the purpose of getting back at Megan. After being tormented and bullied with statements calling her “fat,” “slut," and messages from “Josh” saying he didn’t like her anymore, Megan committed suicide by hanging herself.

This was a landmark case in the fight against cyberbullying as it brought to light the dangers of modern technology and social networking sites. In 2008, Drew was convicted for her role in Meier’s suicide, but later on was acquitted from the same charges. Meier’s case also led to the introduction to the US Congress of H.R. 6123, known as the Megan Meier Cyberbullying Protection Act, to amend the United States Code to include policies on cyberbullying.

Not an isolated incident

Meier’s suicide is not the only one attributed to cyberbullying. Other cases include that of Ryan Patrick Halligan and Rachael Nebitt. Although other factors may have contributed to the suicide of these teens, the role of cyberbullying cannot be eliminated as a contributing factor to the depression, sadness, and anguish these teens felt, so much so that it led to them taking their own lives.

The statistics of online bullying are alarming. According to the MTV-AP Digital Abuse Study, half of young people aged 14 to 24 have experienced digital abuse such as having lies spread about them or being victimized by mean posts or messages that are forwarded to others. Other forms of digital abuse included impersonation or creating fake profiles, being pressured into “sexting” or sending sexually provocative photos of themselves or others, and digital blackmail.

In the same study, 45 percent report that they see people as being mean to each other on various social networking sites.

It seems that social networking sites are indeed a viable portal for cyberbullying. In the Philippines, a group of popular actresses who are part of a clique dubbed Ampalaya Anonymous recently gained attention for reportedly bullying a fellow actress via their Twitter Accounts. More recently, teen star Kim Chiu and her group of friends, known collectively as Churigogobaschu, were also put on the spot for reports of cyberbullying.

Facebook is also filled with a lot of “hate” groups. Take the case of the PBB housemate people love to hate, Tricia Santos. Since she began her stay in the Big Brother house, several Facebook pages such as We Hate Tricia Santos and Anti Tricia Santos have not only been created, but widely supported. Comments posted there can be classified as mean and hateful.

Another example is the reaction to the Jejemon phenomenon. As they rose, so did another group known as Jejebusters, whose main quest is “humiliating a jejemon by posting his/her profile on a social networking site, while everyone on the internet laughs, causing unwarranted embarrassment towards the individual caught jejetyping.”

While the “be a fan” or “like” activities on Facebook may only be looked on as “fun” and “entertainment,” this has the potential to escalate to cyberbullying.

xoxo, Gossip Girl

Why do people bully in the first place?

Perhaps there is no single answer for this question, but to some degree, bullying is somewhat a second-nature response of many people. It is a knee-jerk reaction one makes in response to feelings of insecurity, the need to gain respect, or perhaps the desire to get attention. Sometimes, people bully simply because others are doing it as well. In adolescents, bullying becomes a means of establishing one’s identity and part of their search for who they are and where they are going. James Lehman, MSW, further points out that people bully simply because it solves their social problems.

Online, bullying is a bit different, especially since it offers a blanket of anonymity. As such, one becomes emboldened to post things that they probably would not have the courage to say in face-to-face interaction. Cyberbullying allows a bully to hurt others anonymously and the repercussions for getting caught are lessened.

Posting mean things and rumors in blogs have also gained media approval because of shows like Gossip Girl which premiered in 2007. In the show, a cyberentity known only as Gossip Girl opens every episode with the lines Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite...and who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me, xoxo, Gossip Girl. In between she posts stories and photos sent to her from all over Manhattan’s Upper East Side and the exclusive private school Constance Billard School for Girls.

The ease of setting up hate-pages also makes cyberbullying easier. Take for example the platform Facebook. With a few simple clicks, anyone can create a hateful fan page. Case in point is the proliferation of pages proclaiming hate for PBB teen housemate Tricia Santos.

Words are not just words

Although bullying, teasing, and picking on others may never really be completely eliminated, it is time that people are reminded of one very important fact: words are not JUST words. These words have the capacity to hurt others and to break their spirits.

Today, both my mom and I realize that the old adage she would tell me to stop me from crying due to bullying is not true. We realize now the innate potential of words, and, while sticks and stones may break my bones, words are even more hurtful.

Photo credits: “Stupid Computer!!!” by Jeanie, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved, “cerise” by yapatoots, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved, “keys” by yapatoots, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved.

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Maria Andrea (Ria) S. Tirazona, M.S. (cand.), popularly known as Yapatoots in the online blogging and social networking community, is a preschool teacher at Playschool International and part-time lecturer at the Psychology Department of De La Salle University. She is also an Associate Psychologist at PsychConsult, Inc, where she specializes in Psychological Assessment. She holds a Bachelor's Degree in Family Life and Child Development from the University of the Philippines and is currently working on her thesis for her Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology at the De La Salle University. In her spare time she maintains several blogs, including www.theaccidentalteacher.com, www.fatgirlnomore.com and www.yapatoots.com.