The Philippine Online Chronicles

When does the work of a mother end? Her to-do list never seems to be totally crossed out. From the peak of dawn till midnight, there’s always something to be done. To mother is to watch over, to nourish. Given that definition, there is much for a woman to mother in a household.

There are children to mother. There are plants to mother. To some extent, there’s a husband to mother. Where does that leave the woman herself? Her busy day is comprised mostly of doing tasks for others. Shouldn’t she make time for herself too?

Mommies: Can you handle stress?

If you’re a Mom, you’ve probably said the phrase “There’s not enough time!” more than once in a day. The clean laundry you were supposed to fold up (it’s a miracle you even had time to do the laundry!) rests in their baskets, still not organized in your children’s closets. The pictures of your firstborn are still in the paper envelope the photo printing shop gave you; your kid has just started walking. The younger kids are developing sibling rivalry, the older ones learning how to break their curfews. You don’t know what to prepare for dinner. To top it all off, you look and feel ten years older.

Little chores become mountains until finally, you want to snap. Hello Mommy stress! Before you go nuts and run for the hills, take a deep breath. The mess in the living room can wait. While you may feel there’s nobody better than you to handle the household tasks, step back and ask yourself: Are you feeling well enough to handle what’s coming next?

According to research, women worry twice as much as men. This may be because women have lower levels of a particular brain enzyme which reduces anxiety. When you handle more than you are used to, anxiety builds and you become stressed out. You will know when you’re stressed. When stressed, the body releases chemicals that can speed up your heart, make you breathe faster, and make you sweat. Doesn’t that remind you of the time you went over the budget during the last supermarket trip? You got it. Stress.

Sometimes stress can give you an adrenaline boost. That sure will come in handy when you suddenly learn your mother-in-law is coming to visit and you have to spring-clean the house in half an hour. When stress is prolonged, that’s when the bad effects kick in. Physically, you could experience headaches, a weakened immune system, hyperacidity, body pains, trouble sleeping, lack of appetite, and trouble digesting. Emotionally, stress could lead to depression, irritability, and anger. Mentally, you might be unable to focus on tasks, become more forgetful. If not managed properly, relationships can suffer and performance at home and at work can be compromised. Are you yelling at the kids over the smallest things? That could be a negative effect of stress.

Managing Stress for Mommies

Here are ten ways to manage stress and keep your sanity.

1. Delegate. You’re no superhero, even if you feel you are one. Learn how to spread the household chores. If they are old enough, empower your children with household responsibilities. No matter what age they are, it’s never too early to teach them how to pick up after themselves too. Spreading out the chores will lighten your load and your mood.
2. Make a date with yourself. Just as you schedule appointments with the pediatrician and PTA meetings, schedule time with yourself. When your husband gets home from work, get a massage at a nearby spa or via home service. Spend a few hours by yourself at a coffee shop while the kids are at their grandparents’. Nap time is precious too. Your alone time is your down time, and you sure need this to recharge!
3. Talk to friends. When was the last time you had a conversation with a fellow adult? Baby talk is fun, but you need to have the listening ear of a friend. Call your best friend or chat with fellow Mommy friends online. Build relationships outside your home.
4. Exercise. The American Council on Exercise shares that exercise can help reduce anxiety. Exercise also releases endorphins which lighten your mood and bring about relaxation. Take a walk around the neighborhood and feel the stress fade away!
   • Do household chores count as exercise? Yes, they do! Household chores can exercise your body and burn calories too. You not only get de-stressed, you’re on your way to a healthier you. Repetitive activities like sweeping, walking and folding the laundry can help de-stress you too. As you get into the rhythm of the activity, your mind relaxes and you let go of your thoughts, even daydream. This temporary mental break relieves you of the day’s strain.
5. Listen to soothing music. What music relaxes you? Whether it’s classical or alternative rock, tune in to melodies that pacify you. Turn on the tunes while you are doing chores to lighten the load. Double relaxation time by taking a bubble bath and listening to your favorite music. Stress-related hormones decline when you listen to music that calms you. Muscles relax, anxiety levels lower.
6. Acknowledge your feelings. Don’t bury your emotions under a mountain of chores. Sit down and let your emotions out. If you are feeling sad, let the tears flow. If you are feeling angry, talk it out with someone and carefully manage how to release it. Don’t deny how you feel. The longer you keep your real feelings inside, the more stressed out you can become in the long haul.
7. Make time for activities you enjoy. Whether it’s knitting, gardening, playing FarmVille, or watching reruns of “How I Met Your Mother” over and over, make time for things you enjoy doing. These activities will relax you. The much-needed downtime will also recharge you.
8. Eat healthy. While you may turn to sugary, salty and fatty foods during stressful situations, the convenience and comfort they provide is far from reassuring. Too much sugary, salty, fatty, caffeinated, and processed products don’t do much to help you achieve a healthy, balanced diet. Fight stress with good nutrition. Blueberries, walnuts, and spinach are some examples of stress-fighting foods.
9. Think happy thoughts. Say no to negativity and yes to optimism! Don’t be a prisoner to pessimism. “Change your thoughts, and you change your world,” goes the popular quotation. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Look at things from a more positive perspective and you’ll be surprised at how much stress can go away.
10. Laugh. Let comedians amuse you. Pop in a romantic comedy DVD. Clown around with the kids. Don’t dwell on mistakes. Move on and have a laugh. Laughter decreases stress hormones, so you’ll always feel better afterwards.

Mothering is undoubtedly hard work, and it comes with its share of stress. While once in a while “There’s never enough time!” crosses your mind, keep in mind that you should always make enough time for YOU.

What better day to be stress-free than today? It is Mother’s Day after all, a day to pay tribute to motherhood. While mothering is primarily about nurturing and nourishing family, mothers have to nurture and nourish themselves too. A happy, healthy, stress-free Mom brings about a happy, healthy, stress-free family. Happy Mother’s Day!

Photo: “Stressed The F Out....” by Jalon Nichols, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved. Photo: “Spring” by Hernan Seoane, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved. Photo: “Tea-5708” by Graham Russell, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved.