The Philippine Online Chronicles

It was at the wake of my mother-in-law when my family and I became fully aware of the multitude of Filipino superstitions that surround death. In the midst of overwhelming anguish and a long list of things to do, we were obliged to take note of and observe these practices.

My father-in-law initially refused to even acknowledge them. He is a skeptic, always has been of superstitions. But the pressure to follow these practices to the letter was great, and he, just like the rest of us, yielded.

“Bawal maghatid” is the most common. We were not supposed to see our visitors to the door. Heaven forbid if we accompany them to the parking lot. The family members carry bad luck, they said, and we might rub it off on the visitors if we bid goodbye at the door.

Guests reprimanded me as I got ready to sweep the room. “Bawal magwalis,” people cried with fear in their eyes. They reasoned that I might inadvertently sweep away my family’s lives together with the dust, candy wrappers and butong-pakwan shells.

“Paano?” I asked, my mind uncomprehending this possibility. “Basta,” they insisted. “Hayaan mo nang marumi.” I relented and put the broom away, though I imagined that my mother-in-law, who abhorred all things untidy, might just get up and sweep. Don’t fret, a relative whispered assuringly, the cleaning lady would deal with the mess when all the guests had left.

Another relative called and instructed me to bring scissors. “Kailangang gupitin ang rosaryo at ang bulaklak ng sampagita,” was the order. Cutting all things round would ensure that the cycle of death would end. Again, I could not understand how death could be kept at bay with the cutting of garlands and a rosary. But cut we did.

“Bawal magsapatos ang patay,” came the next superstition. Some believed that the weight of  the shoes would hinder the dead from flying towards heaven. Others' beliefs were morbid – if the dead had shoes on, she would come a-walking and look for someone to go with her.

We were also instructed never to use the “abuloy” for personal expenses. “Ang abuloy ay pera ng namatay,” one visitor said sagely. To use the money for things not related to the dead could mean bad luck, as bad spirits might come to collect payment. Oh definitely not something to worry about, we replied with a smile. With the mounting expenses, every peso would surely go to where it was intended.

“Bawal magsuot ng pula.” Or any bright-colored clothes for that matter. This became a problem during the last few days of the wake. The laundry had been untouched for a week and the closet only had red and yellow shirts left. I reasoned, mourning is not about the color of clothes. Mourning is in the heart and mind. But in the end, tradition won. I promptly dumped all white and black clothes in the washing machine.

On the day of the burial, there was the “hakbang” where little children were carried to and fro across the coffin. Some say this would ensure that the children would not be visited by the soul of the dead. Others say this practice symbolizes steps to heaven. The “hakbang” would pave the way for the soul’s easier ascent to the pearly gates.

There was no getting away from superstitious rituals and practices, what with so many people telling us what to do here and there round-the-clock. The crushing grief was no excuse. At times obedience was difficult, because we felt some of those practices make us view our beloved into some devilish spirit out to wreak havoc if the family fails to observe them. Our Mama was loved by all when she was alive; she is not to be feared now that she is dead.

But we did it all because of love. We love our Mama so much we did the “hakbang” to help her get to heaven. We took off her shoes so she could fly with the angels with ease.  The family loves each other so much that we cut rosaries and garlands and avoided sweeping the floor so we could have more time to enjoy the memories she left behind. Despite talk of bad omen, we realized  that most superstitions are based on  and done out of love. And that makes us willing to abide.

Photo: “Onwards” by Paul Watson, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved