"Here lies ..."

Wednesday, 20 July 2011 07:00 Manuel Garcia Calleja

Two friends of mine died over the weekend. If I may write epitaphs for them, “Good to the last bottle,” would be apt for the departed drinking buddy of all drinking buddies in the neighborhood; for the young wife of a co-member in our tennis club and herself a tennis-loving lady, I would write, “She’s not far away,” to keep alive the memory of her life “she filled every second … with laughter, love and happiness.”

In the past (and even these days in some remote places) the convenient way to bring closure to one’s death was to simply prop up the body on stilts on a mountainside or hill, shove inside a cave, or place on a wooden raft (and sometimes set on fire) and push out to sea. Or, much later, bury the dead underground, which in turn need to have a grave marker consisting of a couple of stones, or an improvised cross or something, and with the advent of mass graves or cemeteries, the placing of tombstones.

The tombstone was a brilliant grave-marking innovation with latter bright boys improving on it by chiseling on the blank stone the name and dates of birth and death. And as things went, the epitaph – a “short phrase or poem” - was added.

The epitaph flourished in the 17^th century and continue to be in vogue and much used today that sometimes one remembers the epitaph but who the hell is buried six feet under the ground?

Still, the epitaph is a good way to have the living get at least a glimpse of “one’s existence highlighting… personality traits or accomplishments in life,” or in “some cases tell the story of the circumstances that brought their death.” Thus, an epitaph may read, “Here lies His Honor who went poking into everybody else’ millions but ended up choking on his own.”

Writing and epitaph can be a challenge, having to come up with “just the right words” that could comfort or even awe those who may read it long after the casket and the body in it had turned into dust.

Some play it safe by thumbing through the Holy Bible for a biblical verse or two, hoping to “exhibit some virtuous quality that is a characteristic of the decedent’s life.” Others gather reflections from relatives and friends.

There are those, perhaps on an ego-trip or are wary of what would be chiseled on their tombstones after their death, write their own epitaphs. Which the wife of John Dryden would have done – write her own epitaph – if only she had known beforehand the epitaph her husband had written for her: “Here lies my wife: here let her lie! Now she’s at rest, and so am I!”

One-liner epitaphs are my favorites. “Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime,” “I never met a man I didn’t like,” “That’s all, folks,” “Gone fishing.” And if I may suggest for we-know-who after he leaves us, “A man must stand erect, not be kept erect by others,” or “Quoth the Raven, Nevermore!”

If I am to write my own epitaph, “Rest in Peace” would be just fine. Life’s a whirligig and after going through it I need to rest and in peace.

Photo: “Ima Goner Headstone Epitaph Detail” by Robert Gannon, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

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