The Philippine Online Chronicles

Nation, truly, few things make a Patriotic Filipino prouder than the sight of our esteemed Congressman and ring legend Manny Pacquiao, standing over a fallen Mexican, long overdue payback for the pain they have caused us during the Spanish occupation.

Like many of you, I was truly disheartened when I found out that he deleted his Twitter account yesterday. Where else could I hear the innermost profound thoughts of the “Pambansang Kamao?” How dare his haters (One of which, unfortunately, can probably edit away every single dissenting word I have to say.) speak to him so disrespectfully? Don’t they understand that he is a god among men who deserves nothing but our blind worship and adoration? One finds it difficult to write this today, knowing that my very own editor is looking through every word, making sure yours truly would never say a denigrating thing about her latest misadventure, but as a man of absolute integrity, one cannot be cowed into silence.

Manny Pacquiao is often considered the best pound for pound fighter in the world not just currently, but even arguably for all time. His unparalleled prowess in the ring is exactly the qualification that has brought him to the lower house, representing the lone district of Sarangani after winning the much-coveted spot in the 2010 elections. Surely, if P Noy could become a president on the back of his family name, a man could become a congressman on the back of the glory he has brought to this Philippine nation.

Indeed, the Philippines has prospered under the 52 victories racked up by “The People’s Champ.” We have reached great economic heights, and our nation has achieved enlightenment and progress because Manny Pacquiao wins his fights. We all know that everything he does is for this great nation. Making $20 million per fight is just secondary to the sheer patriotism oozing out of every pore of Manny Pacquiao’s body. His victory is our victory. His defeat is our defeat. We feel the pain of every punch he takes and every bust he makes on the blackjack table.

This is why the latest travesty, this ruthless agenda against Manny Pacquiao, cannot be taken sitting down.

Is it not your civic duty as a Filipino to know everything that the People’s Champ is up to? How dare anyone not know that he’s training for his fight in May against Shane Mosley? That is just ridiculous! After all, as a Patriotic Filipino, surely, we already know who our very own Barangay Captain is, don’t we? As such, now, we have to know every single thing Manny Pacquiao does, because heaven forbid that we actually have other things to do than to pay attention to every detail of his upcoming fight.

You see, if you don’t support Manny Pacquiao’s fights, you are not a Patriotic Filipino. If you don’t recognize that he is above all these petty things we call rules, then you are not a Patriotic Filipino. If you don’t realize that his boxing is a far more important duty than his duly mandated by law job to represent Sarangani, then you are certainly not a Patriotic Filipino. And if there’s one thing that is infinitely disappointing, it’s someone who isn’t a Patriotic Filipino. Such a waste, really.

Nation, what kind of rubbish is that, expecting Manny Pacquiao to go down all the way from Baguio just to cast his vote for or against the impeachment of Merceditas Gutierrez, when Twitter is there at his beck and call? What next? Would we have asked Ronald Singson to do the same if he were still a Congressman, leaving his jail cell in Hong Kong to cast his vote? This is ridiculous and unheard of! How dare we expect a Congressman to do the job he ran for public office for? Did we ever make these outrageous demands on Jules Ledesma? Surely, we have to respect that our leaders have bigger priorities than the welfare of their constituents, right?

Indeed, those people on Twitter had no right to question the People’s Champ, because silly things like rules and responsibilities don’t apply to a man who is fighting a boxing match. For patriotism! After all, don’t we all get excused from work when we need to beat somebody up? Oh, we don’t? Then that only proves that Manny must be above these silly rules of men because he is above us men!

And yet, it boggles the mind why people insist that former president and current Congresswoman GMA should be held accountable for her errors. Foolish peons! Do you not realize that like Pacquiao, GMA is well above and beyond our station? People complain about NBN-ZTE, about the fertilizer fund, about Le Cirque, yet all the while ignoring the fact that these are all the rules and mores of men. Like Manny Pacquiao, GMA moves in mysterious ways, far beyond our understanding. Who are we mere mortals to question the perfection and the undisputability of our gods?

Nation, if you refuse to question Manny Pacquiao’s conspicuous lack of participation in a job he clearly ran for public office to supposedly do because of the unparalleled pride he brings to the Filipino nation as the greatest non-heavyweight fighter the world has ever seen for all time, then surely, you must also cease to question whatever minor indiscretions you may have noticed from our former president GMA as well, because of the kind of pride she has brought unto this nation for being the pillar of strength during the glorious second EDSA Revolution.

By extension, neither should we bother pursuing human rights violation issues against the Marcoses, since they have put the Philippines in the Guiness book of world records for their unmatched achievements in the world of podiatric fashion diversity and grand larceny.

Indeed, we condemn anyone who questions the greatness of these people. They truly deserve nothing but our appreciation and a blind eye to anything they may do less than perfectly. Anyone who would say otherwise is just being a hater. Heaven forbid that a person disagree in a civil manner have anything less than an all-consuming agenda against our great Patriotic Filipinos. After all, when you disagree with your best friend, doesn’t that make you a hater as well?

Nation, let us throw away all rational thinking, expectations of responsibility, and notions of accountability upon the altar of our god and savior, Manny Pacquiao.

(Editor’s Note: We would like to place a disclaimer here, but surely, it takes a special kind of ignorance to mistake this article as anything other than satire. Marcelle Fabie also blogs on www.mistervader.com)

Photo: “Pacquiao Artwork” by mario, c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

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